Hopefully no one ever sees this. This is my attempt to vent, self-analyze and remark on my (hopeful) progression.
Let's start with a little back story. I had the greatest girlfriend ever. My lifelong dream, and I say that because I've been in love with her since I was 14. That's nearly 30 years ago. Unfortunately, my stupidity cost me the one person I've always wanted. So now it's time for a change. It's time for improvement. It's time to realize where my errors lie, and fix them.
Today, September 25th, 2010, I am depressed. I'm angry. I'm generally angry, and I think that's because I wasted my youth. I didn't take school seriously, I did too many drugs (well, just smoked pot a lot...), and wasted my potential. I'm stuck doing work that's not fulfilling because it's all I know how to do and I'm used to making around $70K. I'm at least 30 pounds overweight, currently weighing 197lbs. I need to make some changes. I need to lose weight, I need to be more understanding of others and their feelings. This won't be easy, as much as I want to change; "you can take the boy out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the boy". But I love this girl so much I HAVE to change. I don't necessarily like who I am, but it's all I know how to be.
I bought grapes, lettuce, bread and Coke Zero today. I'm figuring I can eat PB&J during the week to save money, and substitute grapes for the crappy Funions I love so much as a snack. I'm driven and determined today, I hope I can keep this up.
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