Day 3

Didn't sleep as well last night. However, when I weighed myself I was down to 195. Better than expected. Still finding it difficult to stay awake through the day, even with drinking 3 or 4 cups of tea. I'm committed to getting down to 180 lbs, if I could get to 170 that would be even better. Talked to a friend who suggested I go running. Also talked about running shoes. It's raining so I didn't want to go outside, but I want to at least start walking.

Day 2...

Today is Sunday, Sept 26th. I had a GREAT night, slept well for the first time in a while, even had dreams. I think part of my problem is I rarely go into REM stage. Anyway, my first day of consciously altering my diet. I had a Slimfast shake for breakfast, a PB&J with a few grapes for lunch, and a salad with more grapes for dinner. Surely I had less than 2,000 calories today, so I expect to see some weight loss tomorrow AM.

Being that it's Sunday I watched Football all day and didn't really put any thought into my issues. I meant to go walking but didn't, although I did do some leg curls on my weight bench. As I sit here I think once I get a handle on my weight, my attitude will change, and it's clearly an attitude adjustment that I need.

In The Beginning...

Hopefully no one ever sees this. This is my attempt to vent, self-analyze and remark on my (hopeful) progression.

Let's start with a little back story. I had the greatest girlfriend ever. My lifelong dream, and I say that because I've been in love with her since I was 14. That's nearly 30 years ago. Unfortunately, my stupidity cost me the one person I've always wanted. So now it's time for a change. It's time for improvement. It's time to realize where my errors lie, and fix them.

Today, September 25th, 2010, I am depressed. I'm angry. I'm generally angry, and I think that's because I wasted my youth. I didn't take school seriously, I did too many drugs (well, just smoked pot a lot...), and wasted my potential. I'm stuck doing work that's not fulfilling because it's all I know how to do and I'm used to making around $70K. I'm at least 30 pounds overweight, currently weighing 197lbs. I need to make some changes. I need to lose weight, I need to be more understanding of others and their feelings. This won't be easy, as much as I want to change; "you can take the boy out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the boy". But I love this girl so much I HAVE to change. I don't necessarily like who I am, but it's all I know how to be.

I bought grapes, lettuce, bread and Coke Zero today. I'm figuring I can eat PB&J during the week to save money, and substitute grapes for the crappy Funions I love so much as a snack. I'm driven and determined today, I hope I can keep this up.